Thursday, April 28, 2011


I don't want to die leaving no record of my existence. I have a lot to say, and much of the time, I have been too lazy, fearful, or complacent to say it. In this way, the purpose of this blog is very narcissistic. It gives me an outlet. It makes me feel like I'm "doing something."

And then the other part of me says, "What's the point of doing something?" And then, I keep deconstructing and deconstructing until I reach a nihilistic conclusion in which there's no point to anything. And then there's nothing left. And then you ask yourself, if there's nothing left, what's the point of going on? But you still want to go on, and you don't give in to those thoughts. You don't want to die. You'd do anything to live. So you build artifices. You make things up, like dreams or fantasies. You need something to believe in. You don't believe in the American Dream. You don't believe in E! News. You don't believe in Jesus or any of the other silly human fables. You don't believe in government. You don't believe in getting a house and going on vacation once a year. You don't believe in the things they've made up. You make up your own.

This blog is an artifice. It's one of many artifices that I hope to create throughout my life time.

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